As a wedding photographer, I’ve witnessed hundreds of wedding days unfold. I’ve seen the beauty, the joy, the chaos, the pressure, and everything in between. So now that it’s time to plan my own wedding (eeek! yayy!), many people assumed I would want something big, elaborate, and traditional.

Instead, we chose a micro wedding with around 30 of our immediate family and friends, and it feels like the most meaningful decision we could have made!

My biggest goal: I want to EXPERIENCE my wedding day.

One thing you learn quickly in the wedding industry is how easy it is for the day to become a production. There are a LOT of loved ones to catch up with, expectations from every direction, and very little space to actually slow down and feel what’s happening.

After witnessing exactly that over 250 weddings later, I realized something important: I don’t want to spend my wedding day in a fast-paced, whirlwind trying to hold onto every precious moment before it slips away. I want to be present for it and actually remember the day as it unfolds.

As I started planning my wedding, I heard my own voice saying the same thing I’ve said to so many brides… “the day will go by fast, at some point the only way you’ll get to see everything that’s happening is in your photos.” And while that is still absolutely true (which is why I made sure to hire a wildly talented AND experienced wedding photographer), I also want to be able to breathe in as many memories as I can, while the day is actually happening.

Traditions can be beautiful, but they don’t always feel personal. Planning a micro wedding has allowed us to ask a different question: “What actually feels like us?” Not what’s expected, or what weddings “should” look like. My fiancé and I are both outgoing, but lowkey. Intimate, but yappers. So honoring the ability to really connect with a smaller group is what felt right for us. The freedom has made the planning process calmer, more intentional, and surprisingly joyful (for me at least, he might not agree ha!).

The other obvious factor for us is budget. We would much rather see money going to our future than to one day of celebration. Don’t get me wrong, we love to spend money on amazing things and fun experiences, but we also like to see our money grow and put our responsibilities first. One thing we don’t want to enter marriage with, is a ton of debt and financial stress. So this is the best choice for us to celebrate while keeping things realistic.

It sucks to let people down, especially when it’s the family and friends we love so dearly… and trust me that’s exactly why I understand big wedding days! But at the end of the day we all choose what feels best for us (hopefully), and I hope that you too can put the pressure aside and choose what makes you and your partner the happiest, whether that’s a huge, fun wedding, or an intimate, relaxed one. There is no wrong choice, just the choice that is best for you!

If you’re considering a micro wedding, I know you probably have your doubts. Will people understand? Will it still feel special? Will we regret not going bigger? From both a professional and personal perspective, I can say this: a wedding doesn’t become meaningful because of how many people attend. It becomes meaningful because of how deeply it reflects who you are. If an intimate celebration feels right to you, that instinct is worth trusting.

If you’re dreaming of something intentional and planning an intimate micro wedding or elopement, as a photographer and a bride, I understand the emotional depth and intention behind smaller celebrations. I would love to hear your story and what your dream wedding day looks like to YOU! Click the link below to connect.

xx Alaxandra

Ps- if you want to hear more specifics about our plans, comment on this blog post!